Here’s the thing - you don’t always get to apologize. You can want to do it. But the other person doesn’t have to hear it or accept. There will be things in life you will not get to apologize for. I think it is utter bollocks how much we emphasize forgive and forget and all that. And I find it maddening when people tell me I need to “hear someone out” or “listen to their apology.” Nope. I’m not going to absolve you and tell you it’s ok when you should have been a decent human being in the first place. I don’t have to forgive you because I don’t have to keep terrible people around.
I had someone text me today, basically acting as a proxy saying that someone wanted my email address because they wanted to apologize for past transgressions. One, I was furious this person would elect to have a go-between because wow be an adult. Two, I am not hard to get in touch with. Especially with this person had emailed me in the past. Honey, you have my address. Don’t send your friend in to test the waters to see if you should apologize. If you intend to do it you should one hundred precent own your actions. But don’t use someone else as a crutch and have me awkwardly get mad because you dragged them in on this.
You know what you should have done? Believed me in the first place. You’re part of the problem.